Next time you feel burdened by your slowness, call your daughter by your son’s name, catch yourself repeating stories or wonder if it will be your last time on a long road trip, embrace the chance to rediscover yourself. When you do, you may see your character shine, as your story sparkles bright through the… Read More Blooming Character: 12 Advantages of Aging
Three months ago I launched an online life-consulting practice: The Self-Curious Project. In this short time, I had at least 50 meaningful and honest conversations that taught me more than any academic program. So many questions worth exploring: how do I not feel anxious about moving far from home? how do I make friends and… Read More Invitation to “know thyself”
Feeling rushed by obligations and buried in chaos? Morning space and time may help you set a confident pace for your day. Crafting mindful mornings is an art that needs intentional space for full expression. As a loss and life adjustment consultant trained in architecture and philosophy here is how I make room for my… Read More Making space for mindful time in 3 simple steps
The weeks leading up the U.S. election and following have been … uncomfortable. There is fear, distrust and hate all around. My readers know that I am a Muslim-immigrant South Asian woman married to a Caucasian man with two brown daughters and two white, working as a therapist in small community mental health facility in… Read More In Defense of Discomfort
Recently, the above uncertainty stirred things up in the therapy room a few times. As usual, I didn’t have the answer. How do I endure and balance the restlessness for more with a sense of innate worthiness and abundance? How do I know I’m doing enough? How do I know I am enough? Everything is… Read More Am I ambitious or never good enough?
The list below is meant to help social workers identify strategies to help clients overcome resistance to change. It could also be used as a way to self-check. Silence or minimal talking during sessions (Are you avoiding?) Engaging in intellectual talk by using technical terms/abstract concepts or asking questions of a social worker that are… Read More 7 Signs of Client Resistance to Change
As a therapist, I focus on presenting issues, the problems that compel a person to sit with me. Sure, I balance these functional impairments by looking for strengths and support. Still, the focus is on identifying and repairing damage, secondary and tertiary prevention. I came across a list of indicators for positive ego strength while… Read More Are you healthy (mentally)?
I often hear versions of this confession from my clients. When a child has trouble answering, “How do you feel when you’re happy?” it poses an additional challenge. In a recent attempt to explain, this is what I did: Can you feel the chair underneath you? (Focusing on sensations) What does it feel like? Can… Read More Don’t know what happiness feels like?
Long ago as an architecture student, I would dream about walking through the designs I was working on (this often turned into nightmares!). Even today, I often dream of being lost in interior spaces both familiar and unfamiliar. It is no surprise that architectural metaphors, thinking and space infuse my understanding of philosophy and therapy.… Read More Architect of my soul
How can I move on and grow when I’m back at home with my parents? …I’ve been asked various versions of this question as a counselor. At best the question exposes the uncomfortable struggle between needing support and wanting autonomy. At worst it hides destructive shame and self-doubt. Yes, I answer.. this is your question,… Read More Pausing or Stuck?