Eating from the Same Pot

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Can we call it eating together if we are not sharing from the same pot?

It involves a labor of love to honor the individual tastes of my blended family. Given the vast difference in culinary traditions, we could either alternate between Bengali and American food or create a mix. The few meals we can all eat from the same pot are almost exclusively Western, like Swedish meatballs, chicken stew, spaghetti and meatballs, chili and beef stew. Jim joins us Wednesday night when Atiya and I have our vegetable and fish focused Bengali food. Tuesday and Saturdays, take out or eat out nights, we eat separate individual dishes. My hope is to eat once a week from the same pot.

Food writer, Michael Pollan, writes about his experiment with “Microwave night” as resulting in one of the most disjointed family dinners he had since his son was a toddler. The 37 minutes it took to heat up the three separate dinners was not much of a time saver or worth the “airplane” food quality. The concludes his story by summarizing,

“The fact that each of us was eating something different completely altered the experience of (speaking loosely) eating together. Beginning in the supermarket, the food industry had cleverly segmented us, by marketing a different kind of food to each demographic in the household (if I may so refer to my family), the better to sell us more of it. Individualism is always good for sales, sharing so much less so. But the segmentation continued through the serial microwaving and the unsynchronized eating. At the table, we were each preoccupied with our own entree, making sure it was hot and trying to decide how successfully it simulated the dish it purported to be and if we really liked it. Very little about the meal was shared; the single serving portions served to disconnect us from on another, nearly as much as from the origins of this food, which, beyond the familiar logos, we could only guess at. Microwave night was a notably individualistic experience, marked by centrifugal energies, a certain opaqueness, and, after it was all over, a remarkable quantity of trash. It was, in other words, a lot life modern life.

Pollan talks extensively and poetically about the virtues of the pot. The pot:

… is a kind of second stomach, an external organ of digestion that allows us to consume plants …

… bears the traces of all the meals that have been cooked in it, and there a sense (even if it is only a superstition) in which all those past meals somehow inform and improve the current one. A good pot hold memories.

… what emerges from this or any other pot is not food for the eyes so much as for the nose, a primordial Dionysian soup, but evolving in reverse, decomposing rather than creating them. To eat from the pot always involves at least a little leap into unknown waters.

And finally referring back to “Microwave night,”

This might sound like a sentimental conceit, but compare the one-pot dinner to the sort of meal(s) that typically emerge from the microwave: a succession of single-serving portions, each attempting to simulate a different cuisine and hit a different demographic, with no two of those portions ever ready to eat at the same time. If the first gastronomic revolution unfolded under the sign of community, gathered around the animal roasting on the fire, and the second that of the family, gathered around the stew pot, then the third one, now well under way, seems to be consecrated to the individual: Have it your way. Whereas the motto hovering over every great pot is the same one stamped on the coins in our pocket: E pluribus unum.

I dedicate my fancy new red le crueset pot to good memories, leaps into the unknown and gathering together. At least for one night a week.

Wishing you one-pot meals,

Hungryphil

 

 

Chopped and Blended: Cooking for my modern family

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This summer marks the third year of our blended family adventure. The family dinner has been the locus of both frustration and joy. In our case, we negotiate complex fluctuating schedules that involve cooking for three half the time during the school year, for five the other half and occasionally six (when my college kid visits). We have yet to cook for each other on the rare occasions when its just the two of us. That topic may be a future series entitled, “The Raw and Well Preserved.” Complicating the logistics of groceries and preparation, we also bring with us two very different cooking traditions. mine, South Asian (Bengali) and Jim’s, Southern. Which means, I crave spice and he craves sweet. This basic difference only begins to map the gastronomic battleground that is our dinner table that also includes four daughters with divergent taste profiles. What is a cook to do?

Here is my developing three-pronged strategy. I’d love to hear yours.

  • Do not take any food preferences as a judgment and respect each member’s flavor profile.
  • Deconstructed dinners are your friend. Fajitas, burgers, pasta…anything that can have multiple toppings. Similarly, condiments are required to personalize each dish.
  • Left-overs can make a wonderful buffet or the basis for a recreated and re-purposed dish.

Despite these efforts there are dinners that fail to satisfy everyone. I’ve accepted the inevitability and the evenings of resignation that involve the phrase “let’s just eat out.” My efforts have not been futile. There have been a few good meals that we all shared and enjoyed together. Most importantly, I learned a lot about each of my loved ones. Learning their flavor profiles help me anticipate their reactions and makes my cooking deliberate. Gastronomic profiling certainly has the potential of being abused. Like, telling my 19 year old…”but you loved chicken nuggets and baked potatoes when you were 4.” On the other hand, it can be a working guideline, just like recipes. When judging recipes, I look at which flavor profiles are met or not met and change the recipe accordingly. Cooking becomes a form of user centered design and object oriented attention to ingredients. Let me explain what I mean by flavor profiles and preferences. My family consists of the following profiles: milk, eggs, bread, meat, eggplant and calamari. (of course, there are lot of cross overs and blending of preferences)

Jim (aka MILK) enjoys anything with the smooth rounded umami feel of cream. His preferences lean towards the salty and sweet. Oreo shakes, steaks, mashed potatoes, fried chicken, lemon bars, barbeque sauce on anything. To “Jimmify” a recipe, I add cream. Cream for Jim has the power to transform a curry from a foreign adventure to familiar comfort. Thai curries with coconut milk, alfredo sauce (no pesto for Jim), chicken marsala with mashed potatotes, Indian butter chicken all these have the common denominator of a smooth silky taste.

I have always had a deep love of eggs, whether scrambled, fried, made into a custard, salty, spicy or sweet. After a hard day, I console myself with a fried egg on buttered toast with guava jelly. I enjoy bright lemony flavors. Vegetables. Broccoli is my friend. Spice and heat make me feel alive. Three days of bland food leaves me depressed. I have a love/hate relationship with desserts. I prefer the last bites of my meal to be spicy.

Calamari is one of the last things I ate with my eldest daughter home from college. She sets a very high bar. Every bite for her should aspire to contain a rainbow of flavors. She’s a fan of the refreshing and hearty combo. Burgers with layers of flavors. Tapas style dinners. Dinner plates that offer a range of taste from salty, crunchy, acidic, creamy etc. Aiming for diversity and choice, she is my most adventurous eater. When she visits, I try to have a mix of new and familiar dishes, a mix of cultures, a mix of flavors. Fried Calamari with a dipping sauce, has the elements of chewy, savory, crunchy, creamy, lemony that befits her.

Eggplant represents my second daughter who is the only kid I know who really and honestly enjoys vegetables. Eggplant, broccoli and green beans are her favorite. I’m so in awe of her. She will eat eggplant cooked any style, Indian, Italian, Greek, Thai….Her flavor profile includes clean bright flavors of vegetables, sushi, lentils, as well as savory lamb, goat, eggs, shrimp, lobster, all Asian flavors, Indian food. She will try anything as long as I describe it to her first. Like me, she tires of bland food and left overs.

Meat represents my daughter from another mother. She is my simple eater. Chicken, steak, shrimp, pasta, rice with no spice, no sauce or gravy. Her major food groups are burgers, bacon, cinnamon rolls, Bertolli’s Chicken Florentine and peanut butter sandwiches. She likes her meals to be predictable and consistent. For her, I deconstruct meals by leaving off the sauces and gravies. She’s our minimalist.

Bread represents my youngest daughter from another mother. She will eat or at least try anything if accompanied by bread (and butter). She happily tried beef curry and butter chicken dipped in porota (Indian flat bread). In the past three years she has absorbed the most of our culinary blending.

Everyone LOVES desserts. Brownies, cookies, cakes, lemon bars, magic bars, pecan pie, coconut pie……..anything.

As long as I have something new, something familiar, something starchy, something meaty, something creamy, something spicy and something sweet on our chopped and blended dinner table……….. all is well. It doesn’t happen everyday but on the few occasions when it does….the silence around the table is magic.

This Chopped and Blended Series will be devoted to recipes for deconstructed meals. Look for the first installment soon.