Body is something you need in order to stay on this planet and you only get one. And no matter which one you get, it will not be satisfactory. It will not be beautiful enough, it will not be fast enough, it will not keep on for days at a time, but will pull you down into a sleepy swamp and demand apples and coffee and chocolate cake.
Body is a thing you have to carry from one day into the next. Always the same eyebrows over the same eyes in the same skin when you look in the mirror, and the same creaky knee when you get up from the floor and the same wrist under the watchband. The changes you can make are small and costly—better to leave it as it is.
Body is a thing that you have to leave eventually. You know that because you have seen others do it, others who were once like you, living inside their pile of bones and flesh, smiling at you, loving you, leaning in the doorway, talking to you for hours and then one day they are gone. No forwarding address.
Joyce Sutphen, “Living in the Body” from Coming Back to the Body from the Writer’s Almanac, 9/20/21
I eat a slice of chocolate cake every year to celebrate a loss I’ve had. This poem reminds me of living and of celebrating despite and because of loss. Some years I bake a cake to freeze slices to enjoy throughout the year. A way to keep both the sadness and the gratitude in my body.
The body is everything. Let’s promise to be in ours today.
With warmth,
Hungryphil
P.S. Next time I bake a cake for the occasion, I’ll have to take a picture to share. For now, I rely on stock photos online.
Three months ago I launched an online life-consulting practice: The Self-Curious Project. In this short time, I had at least 50 meaningful and honest conversations that taught me more than any academic program. So many questions worth exploring:
how do I not feel anxious about moving far from home?
how do I make friends and ease my social anxiety?
how do I stop nervous talking?
how do respond to “what will people say?”
how do not feel like a failure?
how do I live up to my parent’s expectations?
how do I get over a break up?
how do I deal with my grandmother’s death?
how do I adjust to grown-up children and their choices?
how do I feel more confident?
how do I like how I look?
how do I let go of my past hurt?
how do I move on and forward?
how do I………..
The answer depends on what each person brings with the question, in their mind, heart and body. My work with them involves making space for the uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and sensations. To make it safe to feel those feelings without judgement and with support.
My training in architecture, philosophy, social work and yoga perfectly align to this mission of supporting embodied self-curiosity. I can guide their conceptual understanding (philosophy), their awareness of inner-space within an outer world (architecture), their life circumstances and context (social work) and their moving shape (yoga). Having my own practice affords me time to explore the dynamic life of each person without rushing, without the pressure of insurance forms, without one-size-fits all conceptual impositions, without pathologizing functioning human experience. After each session, instead of notes, I write each client a summary email, recounting meaningful moments during the session, skills practiced, and yes, I give homework. There is always action. Learning without empowering action is a pointless waste of precious energy, time, space and connection. Self-acceptance requires a relentless practice of self-curiosity. It is not an event, a therapeutic breakthrough, a quick fix. Hence, the need for a witness, coach, consultant, counselor, or therapist.
Sitting with clients has taught me to slow down, to carefully listen for answers hidden in their own questions. Sometimes I feel like an archeologist, helping excavate hidden hopes and treasure. It is magical to see a person recognize themselves in their own fears and joys. I welcome the tears and I welcome the smiles. It is all the dazzling array of life examined, accepted, and thus worthy.
This blog is my self-curious playground. Thank you for reading, keeping me company and being my listener. The self-curious project is about you, fed by what I learn about myself here. It is the professional face of my personal inspirations. As readers of my private curiosities, I invite you to visit: https://theselfcurious.com/.
I offer a complimentary 30-minute consultation mostly because I enjoy connecting with people, and also so you can make an informed choice of whether self-exploration is worth your time and money. Signing up for a time-slot is easy. If not, email me.
Let’s have a architectural, embodied, philosophical and therapeutic conversation about what it’s like to be you. If I don’t see you there, no worries, hope to still see you here. I’m so thankful for your presence.
The Hungry Philosopher 