How can I move on and grow when I’m back at home with my parents? …I’ve been asked various versions of this question as a counselor. At best the question exposes the uncomfortable struggle between needing support and wanting autonomy. At worst it hides destructive shame and self-doubt. Yes, I answer.. this is your question,… Read More Pausing or Stuck?
“What does the opposite of a seizure feel like for you? What are you doing when you are comfortable?” “I am sipping coffee in the morning. The kids are off to school and it’s quiet.” “Do you have a favorite coffee cup? Tomorrow morning try holding your coffee cup in your lap, feel the weight… Read More After filling your cup
My initial concern, as a counselor, with social distancing in this time of COVID-19 was the increased potential for social isolation. I worry about the elderly, the children in abusive or unsafe homes, the victims of partner violence, the ones living alone, the ones sick or afraid. One of my first remote sessions caused me… Read More Relief in Social Distancing?
Imagine, ( you are good at that my artist and creative friends), you walk into my counseling office. You seat yourself in a red mid-century modern chair. No arm rests. You fold your hands on your lap and notice that you are sitting upright. You allow yourself to lean into the back support. You look… Read More Hungry Philosopher and Starving Artists
Yogic psychology says there’s more. Encountering these stuck and painful knots is the path. This perspective teaches us that we aren’t stuck, we’re only identifying with less satisfying “things.” One remedy, Patanjali tells us, is to look for the opposite (II:33). I think of it as the Nourishing Opposite (Fay, 2010) not just any opposite,… Read More The Nourishing Opposite
You know the feeling when you wait for the person in front of you on an airplane to lean back and restrict you even further in to the the tight small seat? You know that feeling, right? Wishing and hoping they won’t but at the same time realizing that they are perfectly right do so.… Read More Anticipating Restriction
It is not surprising that I’m drawn to Existentialist Psychotherapy in the lineage of Rollo May, Irvin Yalom, Vicktor Frankl practicing the philosophies of Kierkagaard, Nietzsche, Heidegger, Sartre, Husserl and others. The basic premise as Irvin Yalom explains below is the humble defense of the ancient belief that self-awareness leads to a meaningful fulfilling life… Read More Self-Aware Ease